I Am a Protector

I am a protector.
I sit on a bridge.
One person can see right through me.
Others wonder what I hide.

What am I?

Sunglasses

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Often There’s Only a Frown

I torture children and parents
Many people scream and wail in my presence
Parents drag their kids to me
I am supposed to create smiles,
But often there is only a frown.

What am I?

A dentist.

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A Woman Shoots Her Husband

A woman shoots her husband, then holds him under water for five minutes. Finally, she hangs him. Five minutes later they enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

She took a photo of him and developed it in the dark room.

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Eyes That Don’t See

Most of you have two eyes. I only have one.
Most of you have eyeballs. I do not.
Your eyes aren’t dangerous, neither are mine.
But all together, I am extremely dangerous.
You can see things with your eyes.
I can’t see anything, even though the air is clear where my eye is.

What am I?

The eye of a tornado or hurricane. Could also be the eye of a needle.

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Longest Word in English

What is the longest word in the English dictionary?

Smiles because there is a mile between the two s’s.

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Make This Addition Problem Correct

This math problem is currently wrong.

11 + 66 + 88 + 96 = 294

How can you make it actually equal 294?

Flip the numbers upside down:

11 + 99 + 88 + 96 = 294

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If You Break Me, I Don’t Stop Working

If you break me
I do not stop working,
If you touch me
I may be snared,
If you lose me
Nothing will matter.

Your heart.

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Catches a Bullet With His Bare Hands

Alan fires a bullet from his hand gun and his friend Wade catches the bullet with his bare hands. The gun shoots actual, deadly bullets. The bullet does not touch anything but air after it leaves the gun and until it reaches Wade’s hand. Wade is uninjured. How does he do it?

Alan fires his bullet from a .25 ACP (Automatic Colt Pistol), which will reach a maximum height of 2,287 feet. He shoots directly upward while standing at the base of Burj Khalifa, a 2,722 foot tall building.

Wade is a window cleaner at that building, waiting at 2,287 feet. When the bullet reaches that height and is about to go back down again, he reaches out with his bare hands and catches it.

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Four of Us In Your Field

Four of us are in your field
But our differences keep us at yield

First, a one that is no fool
Though he resembles a gardener’s tool

Next, one difficult to split in two
And a girl once had one as big as her shoe

Then, to the mind, one’s a lovely bonder
And truancy makes it grow fonder

Last, a stem connecting dots of three
Knowing all this, what are we?

The four suits in a deck of standard playing cards

The Spade is a gardener’s tool.

The Diamond is the hardest gem to break. “Little Girl and Queen” is a Mother Goose rhyme, in which the Queen gave the girl a large diamond for picking the Queen some roses.

The Heart bonds with the mind to form love. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

The Club, or Clover, is three dots connected around a stem.

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Worn By Men For Privacy

I’m an argument of why my side should win,
And worn by men for privacy.
I don’t last long if I get under your skin,
And I rhyme with a kind of misery.

What am I?

Brief (or briefs). A legal brief is a short outline of the arguments in a court case, briefs are worn by men to cover their privates. Brief also means to not last long and brief rhymes with grief, a kind of misery.

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