I Make Memories That Last a Lifetime
I make memories that last a lifetime,
Without me you’ll be miserable,
If you miss me you can gourge and it’s okay.
Some say I am naturally split in two.
What am I?
Sleep. It’s the time your mind organizes memories and knowledge. Sleep deprivation is miserable (as you well know if you’ve experienced it). If you miss a few nights of sleep, you can sleep more to catch up with no problems. And some believe that segmented sleep, where you sleep, wake for an hour, then go back to sleep, was the dominant form of sleep before the Industrial Revolution.
A Shorter Word
What word becomes shorter when you add letters to it?
Short. Adding ‘er’ to short gives you shorter.
The Thinner It Grows
You use me from your head to your toes.
The more you use the thinner it grows.
For years I was not often used,
Not using me now is not excused.
Soap.
Not a Toy But Used For Pleasure
I am not a toy, though many use me for pleasure. I have a butt but I can not poop. I have been known to kill people. What am I?
A cigarette.
Speaks Without Words
What is it that speaks without any words?
And can be loudly and distinctly heard?
Will drive away friend, and foe alike.
And is enough to make a stolid man’s face alight?
Flatulence.
A Woman Shoots Her Husband
A woman shoots her husband, then holds him under water for five minutes. Finally, she hangs him. Five minutes later they enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
She took a photo of him and developed it in the dark room.