A Smiling Guard

Two guards were on duty outside a barracks. One faced up the road to watch for anyone approaching from the North. The other looked down the road to see if anyone approached from the South. Suddenly one of them said to the other, “Why are you smiling?”

How did he know his companion was smiling?

They were facing each other. As to why his companion was smiling, the world may never know.

Posted in Brain Teasers

Tongue Can’t Taste, Throat Can’t Swallow

What has a tongue that can’t taste, a throat that can’t swallow, eyes that can’t see and a soul that will never die?

A shoe. It has a tongue, a throat, eyes (or eyelets) and a sole. I used soul here or else it would have given the answer away, but this riddle works best when told rather than read. And as the joke goes, old shoes never die, they just lose their sole.

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Two Common English Words

“H-e” starts and ends two common English words. One painful in love, one painful in everyday matters.

What are the two words?

Heartache and headache.

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I Make Memories That Last a Lifetime

I make memories that last a lifetime,
Without me you’ll be miserable,
If you miss me you can gourge and it’s okay.
Some say I am naturally split in two.

What am I?

Sleep. It’s the time your mind organizes memories and knowledge. Sleep deprivation is miserable (as you well know if you’ve experienced it). If you miss a few nights of sleep, you can sleep more to catch up with no problems. And some believe that segmented sleep, where you sleep, wake for an hour, then go back to sleep, was the dominant form of sleep before the Industrial Revolution.

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You’re Halfway There

You’re standing 11 feet away from a doorway and with each step you move halfway to the doorway. How many steps will it take for you to get to the doorway?

Technically, the answer is infinity. If you keep going halfway, you’ll never actually make it to the doorway.

But in practice, after 10 steps you’ll be 1/8th of an inch to the doorway and anyone behind you would say to stop being a baby and take a real step through the doorway already.

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A Black Dog Night

A completely black dog was strolling down main street during a total blackout affecting the entire town. Not a single streetlight had been on for hours. As the dog crosses the center of the road a Buick Skylark with two broken headlights speeds towards it, but manages to swerve out of the way just in time. How could the driver see the dog to swerve in time?

It was during the day.

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Never Ahead, Ever Behind

Never ahead, ever behind,
Yet flying swiftly past;
For a child I last forever,
For adults I’m gone too fast.

What am I?

Childhood.

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A Trail of Silver

If you carried my burden, you would be crushed.
Though not rich, I leave a trail of silver.

What am I?

A snail. They carry their homes on their back, and a house would crush a person (even the tiny houses). And the trail of silver is a bit of a stretch, but it’s the slimy, gooey substance snails leave behind them.

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BERETT ELTA NATH RENEV

Rearrange the letters of each word in the phrase below to form a well-known saying.

BERETT ELTA NATH RENEV

Better Late Than Never

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A Silent Murder Witness

Emily witnessed a murder in early January but didn’t call the police. Why?

It was a murder of crows.

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