I Can Kill People

I can kill people, or cause great pain.
You eat me.
I can mean you’re crazy.
I hold things together.
I help climbers stay safe.
I can replace a swear.
And I’m on a violin.

What am I?

Nuts.

People with nut allergies can die from eating nuts. Being hit in the nuts hurts (I speak from experience. Painful, painful experience). You eat nuts (unless you’re allergic, in which case you should run away). If someone says you’re nuts, it doesn’t mean you’re a peanut or an almond. Nuts and bolts hold things together. A climber’s nut or chock wedges into a rock. Instead of swearing, you can say, “Aww nuts!”. And finally, the nut on a violin is a small piece of hard material that supports the strings.

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All Those Legs

Two legs sat upon three legs with one leg in his lap.
In comes four legs, grabs one leg, and runs off with him.
Up jumps two legs, grabs up three legs, throws it after four legs,
and makes him bring back one leg.

Who are we?

One leg is a leg of mutton. Two legs is a person. Three legs is a stool. Four legs is a dog.

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2 + 2 = 5

What is the similarity between “2 + 2 = 5” and your left hand?

Neither is right. Two plus two equals five isn’t right, or correct and your left hand is not your right hand.

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A Seemingly Simple Math Problem

What is the answer to this problem?

1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1
1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1
1 + 1 × 0 + 1 = ?

30.

There are two tricks to this one. The first is 1 × 0. But it’s mostly there as a distraction. Yes, 1 × 0 is 0, but that doesn’t affect anything else in the equation. The second, far trickier element is that the lines ending with 1 don’t have a + sign next to them. That means they should be combined with the following line.

Let’s put the equation all on one line, shall we?

1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 11 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 11 + 1 × 0 + 1 = ?

And the answer to that equation is 30.

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I Don’t Exist Unless You Cut Me

I don’t exist unless you cut me, but if you stab me I won’t bleed. I hate no one yet am abhorred by all. What am I?

A fart.

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Lines in the Rebus

What does this represent?

| R | E | A | D | I | N | G |

Reading between the lines

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B C D

B, C, D, E, G, P

What is the next letter in the sequence?

T. All of the letters rhyme.

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I’m Easy To Give Yet Few Will Take

I’m easy to give yet few will take,
I’m shared with a bride and can be seen at a wake,
I have a monopoly on the young,
And at times, it’s true, I may have stung.

What am I?

Advice. It’s easy to give it out but advice is often ignored. Brides are frequently given advice on their wedding day and you’ll even hear life advice at a funeral. Advice is frequently given to young people and some advice can be hard to stomach (like you should lose a few pounds).

Posted in Riddles

Whoever Makes Me Can Hear Me

Whoever makes me can hear me, but to all others I’m silent. What am I?

A thought in your head. You can hear it, but no one else can. Unless you read minds, but then you’d have bigger problems, like figuring how how to remain sane in large crowds.

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Sometimes I’m a Sphere

Sometimes I’m a sphere,
Sometimes I’m a banana,
And sometimes I’m not there at all.

What am I?

The moon. A full moon is a sphere, a crescent moon looks like a banana, and sometimes the moon is not visible at all.

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