Three Foot Ruler
Where can you find a three foot ruler?
At a yard sale. How did another joke riddle get in here?
My Thunder, Lightning and Rain
My thunder comes before the lightning.
My lightning comes before the clouds.
My rain dries all the land it touches.
What am I?
A volcano.
(via Reddit)
In Your Body Free the First Two Times
What is in your body for free the first and the second time but the third time you have to buy yourself?
Your teeth. You get baby teeth and adult teeth as part of the life package, but once you lose those you get to pay for dentures (or scare small children with your sunken face).
Inscribed On My Face
Marking mortal privation when what’s under me is in place.
An enduring summation, inscribed on my face.
What am I?
A tombstone (or gravestone, headstone, monument, you get the idea).
Weight In My Belly
Weight in my belly,
Trees on my back,
Nails in my ribs,
Feet I do lack.
What am I?
A boat.