Two Hands But Can’t Clap

I have two hands but I cannot clap. What am I?

A clock.

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Stand Take Mine

What does this sentence represent?

Stand   Take  Mine  Taking
  I     You    To     My

I understand you undertake to undermine my undertaking.

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A Woman Shoots Her Husband

A woman shoots her husband, then holds him under water for five minutes. Finally, she hangs him. Five minutes later they enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

She took a photo of him and developed it in the dark room.

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Only At Rest Do They Touch the Ground

Two legs I have and this will confound, only at rest do they touch the ground. What am I?

A wheelbarrow.

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A Face But No Eyes

I have a face but no eyes. Hands but no arms. What am I?

A clock.

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Swallow

You can swallow me, but I can swallow you. What am I?

Water.

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If You Look You Cannot See Me

If you look you cannot see me. If you see me you cannot see anything else. I can make anything you want happen, but later everything goes back to normal.

What am I?

Your imagination.

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Least Sleepy Month

In what month do people sleep the least?

February, because there are fewer days.

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I Am Both Safe and Secure

As a whole, I am both safe and secure.
Behead me, I become a place of meeting.
Behead me again, I am the partner of ready.
Restore me, I become the domain of beasts.

Stable. A table is a place of meeting. Able and ready is a common phrase, and a stable is where beasts reside (beasts of burden, not beasts like the one in Beauty and the Beast who lived in a glorious castle but the west wing was forbidden to enter until Belle…I’ve said too much!).

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A Group of Three

I give you a group of three. One is sitting down, and will never get up. The second eats as much as is given to him, yet is always hungry. The third goes away and never returns.

Stove, fire, smoke.

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