Goes With a Car

What goes with a car, comes with a car, is of no use to a car, but the car can’t move without it?

Noise. The engine is usually the main culprit, but even electric cars make some noise from the tires on the road.

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Jump When I Walk

I jump when I walk, can’t go backward and sit when I stand. What am I?

A kangaroo.

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Inscribed On My Face

Marking mortal privation when what’s under me is in place.
An enduring summation, inscribed on my face.

What am I?

A tombstone (or gravestone, headstone, monument, you get the idea).

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I A N Rebus

What does the following rebus represent?

I           A
      N
R           B

Scatterbrain.

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To Make In a Burning House

I am the best thing to make if you’re in a burning house. And you’d better make me quickly before the fire’s too hot to take.

Haste.  You need to make haste to get out of the burning house as soon as possible.

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A Gentle Touch

What force and strength cannot get through,
I, with a gentle touch, can do.
And many in the street would stand,
were I not a friend at hand.

A key.

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Fill in the Blank and Discover the Event

Fill in the missing words to make a phrase with both the left and right hand sides. For instance, if you were given GRAPE __________ FLY, the missing word could be FRUIT, making GRAPEFRUIT and FRUIT FLY.

1. TOP __________ AGENT
2. PROXY __________ OF NO CONFIDENCE
3. SECOND-HAND __________ DETECTOR
4. THE SACK OF __________ APPLE
5. ST. LOUIS __________ SIN

Once you have the words, what event does it represent?

1. SECRET
2. VOTE
3. SMOKE
4. ROME
5. CARDINAL

The event is a Papal conclave, when a new Pope is chosen.

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The Secret of the Chalk Emerald

A dear old relative passed away recently and her family gathered for the reading of the will. The final item was the Chalk Emerald, a priceless gem. The will bequeathed it to whoever determined where it was hidden. The only clue was it was in a cylinder surrounded by a thousand squares. A young lass of barely six immediately piped up saying she knew where it was hidden and she was correct. Where was the hiding place?

In a roll of toilet paper.

Mark suggested two alternative solutions: A cylindrical chimney or a well, the squares being the bricks. Although most bricks aren’t square, it’s conceivable I guess.

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A Promise to the President

Ronald has a rare opportunity to meet the President of the United States. During his visit the president gives him a gift but tells Ronald he is never to sell it unless he sees the president again. Ronald consents, but the president dies later that year. Years later a man offers to buy the President’s gift for $1000. Ronald agrees and exchanges the gift for 20 crisp $50 bills. Did he keep his promise?

Yes. The president was Ulysses S. Grant, who died in 1885 and whose face has been on the $50 bill since 1913. He saw the president on the bills before he made the exchange.

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Once a Minute, Twice in a Moment

What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand years?

The letter “m”.

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