How many days before August 17th is it, if fifty days ago, it was four times as many days since March 30th?

Emily’s celebration was a success.
Except nobody invited her.

She was at the celebration but was never really there.

How could this be?

Add punctuation to these words to make a grammatically correct series of phrases.

That that is is that that is not is not is not that it it is

What is special about the number 854,917,632?

Jim and his wife Patty were sitting in bed together one evening while a thunderstorm raged outside. After a bolt of lightning followed by a loud clap of thunder, the lights went out. Jim stopped reading and went to sleep, but Patty continued reading in the dark. How did she do it?

A man was working the night shift when he received an urgent phone call, giving him information that caused him to dash home at breakneck speed.

On bursting into his bedroom quite breathless he found his informant was quite correct. His wife was in bed with someone he had never seen before.

However, far from being angry, he greeted them both with a smile and a few hours later brought them both breakfast in bed.

What is the explanation for this odd behavior?

A man wants to get into a night club where the bouncers test each person before they can enter. The man waits and watches.
A woman walks up to the bouncers and the bouncers say 6. The woman replies with 3 and goes in.
A small man walks up and they say 12. The man replies 6 and is admitted.
The first guy thinks he’s figured it out and walks up. They say 4 and the man replies with 2, but they don’t let him in.

What should he have said?

A prisoner was brought before the King to be executed. The King was in a peppy mood and asked the prisoner how he would like to die. The prisoner told him and the King laughed heartily. The prisoner was released and sent on his way, alive.

What did the prisoner say?