Doesn’t Fly Even With Wings

I have four wings but cannot fly,
I’ve never laughed nor will ever cry,
As much as I’d love to leave the ground,
I toil away with nary a sound.

What am I?

A few windmills

A windmill. The typical windmill, like the ones Don Quixote chased, have four vanes or sails. You might even say they look like wings. Windmills don’t have emotions, so they can’t laugh or cry. And since they don’t have actual wings, windmills don’t get off the ground. A well-oiled little bugger won’t make a peep.

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All The Numbers of The Phone

What do you get when you multiply all of the numbers on a phone’s number pad?

Zero.

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Midway Numbers

Select the number that is midway between the lowest number and the highest number.
Which number is midway between that number and the number that is nearest the highest number?

35  5 52 36 67
69  4 51 37 71
55 68  3 53 39

53.

37 is midway between 3 (the lowest number) and 71 (the highest number).
53 is midway between 37 and 69 (nearest to the highest number).

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Lillian’s Shower

Lillian gets in the shower, but her long, flowing hair is not wet when she gets out again. How is this possible?

She didn’t turn the water on, she wore a shower cap or it was a baby shower.

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Forward I’m Heavy

Forward I’m heavy, but backwards I’m not. What am I?

Ton.

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Built From Anything You Don’t Like

I’m built from anything you don’t like,
You’re using me right now in fact,
I am one but represent many,
When attacked I’m easily cracked,
I’m created in seconds but live forever
And though you may not understand,
I’ll help you do well but be careful my friend,
Hurt me and you won’t withstand.

What am I?

Character (or characters).

Kids are often told, when dealing with unpleasant things, that it builds character. You’re reading the characters this riddle is written with. In computer science a char is often represented by one byte and can store any character you want.

When politicians have their character besmirched it can swiftly change the voting public’s mind about them. Characters in novels are created with a few lines but live on in our memories. And if your character or reputation is damaged, you may find it hard to deal with the aftermath.

And here’s a great quote from Warren Buffet on your character.

“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.” — Warren Buffet

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The Cost of Household Hardware

A man went to the hardware store to buy items for his house.

1 would cost $.25
12 would cost $.50
122 would cost $.75

When he left the store he had spent $.75, what did he buy?

House numbers.

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Fill in the Blank and Discover the Event

Fill in the missing words to make a phrase with both the left and right hand sides. For instance, if you were given GRAPE __________ FLY, the missing word could be FRUIT, making GRAPEFRUIT and FRUIT FLY.

1. TOP __________ AGENT
2. PROXY __________ OF NO CONFIDENCE
3. SECOND-HAND __________ DETECTOR
4. THE SACK OF __________ APPLE
5. ST. LOUIS __________ SIN

Once you have the words, what event does it represent?

1. SECRET
2. VOTE
3. SMOKE
4. ROME
5. CARDINAL

The event is a Papal conclave, when a new Pope is chosen.

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Cheese Made Backwards

What cheese is made backwards?

Edam cheese.

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Ancient Arabic

I’m Arabic, but if you speak English, you probably use me every day.

What am I?

The Arabic numerals, 1, 2, 3, etc.

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