I torture children and parents
Many people scream and wail in my presence
Parents drag their kids to me
I am supposed to create smiles,
But often there is only a frown.
A man is found dead at the end of an alley. A detective who enters the scene sees the letter X and immediately knows who killed the man and why. What did the detective conclude?
The alley is a bowling alley. The man who was killed was a pin spotter (an old profession where they would reset the pins by hand). The X was the marking on the score sheet for a strike. The detective saw the letter X and knew that the person bowled last, got a strike, and was due to bowl again. But they bowled before the pin spotter could get out of the way.
Kevin, Charles, Larry and Alex are in a room that’s about 110 feet long. In front of them are 5 balls which are exactly 100 ft from the exit. The balls are yellow, purple, green, red and blue, respectively. Each man must carry a ball to the exit. After traveling 20 ft a ball will change color twice. The sequence of color changes is always the same: yellow, purple, green, red, and blue.
At 80 ft Kevin’s ball is red.
At 40 ft Larry’s ball is purple.
At 60 ft Charles’ ball is blue
At 100 ft Alex’s ball is purple.
The remaining ball was blue. Here’s a table of each ball and the color it changes to at 20, 40, 60, 80 and 100 ft. Kevin’s started out yellow, Larry’s was green, Charles’ was red and Alex began with a purple ball, leaving blue as the one nobody picked.
A strike in bowling is good. In baseball it’s good for the pitcher but not for the batter. You can strike a match to light it. When the clock strikes one a gong sounds and when you strike a paragraph, it’s gone.
The typical answer to this is “I am,” but some argue that it’s not a complete sentence. However, if someone asked a man named Rupert if he was Rupert, he could reply, “I am” and it would make a complete sentence in my book.
But that’s not the whole answer. There is an even shorter sentence using an imperative with an implied subject (how’s that for an English terminology-filled sentence?) With “Go,” the “you” is implied. For example, if your wife wanted you to go with her to pick up some donuts and you were busy, she might say, “I really want to get some donuts, I’m starving!” and you might reply, “Go!” The implication being you never wanted to get donuts in the first place because you like ice cream more anyway and if you’re busy you’re probably doing something worthwhile and important and can’t be disturbed for such trivial matters as acquiring sweet pastries with holes in them, no matter how much of a waste of time your wife says your pursuits are. In short, “Go” is the shortest sentence in the English language that also has the longest implied meaning. Do you want to get get some ice cream? Go!
Ava pointed out in the comments that No is another viable alternative.
