Harvest Though No Grain

I harvest you, though you’ve no grain,
I reap you in the wind and rain,
You bleed not but your soft meat
And nectar makes a sweetest treat.
What am I?

A clam or oyster. You harvest clams or oysters on the beach or go diving, and the beach is often windy and rainy. Neither bleeds but are known for having, soft, slimy meat, and people often drink the “clam nectar” or “oyster juice”.

Thanks to Helena for this submission

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Turd Station

At Coney Island (the amusement park in Ohio) over Memorial Day weekend I saw a changing station in the men’s bathroom. A clever fellow had scraped off some letters to make the changing station read, “Turd Station”. What was the original name of the changing station?

sTURDy Station2, by Rubbermaid.

Here’s a picture of one without the letters scratched out.

rubbermaid-changing-station

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Up a Drainpipe Down but Not Down a Drainpipe Up

What can go up a drainpipe down but not down a drainpipe up?

An umbrella.

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She Was Never There

Emily’s celebration was a success.
Except nobody invited her.

She was at the celebration but was never really there.

How could this be?

Emily passed away and it was a celebration of her life. Of course you don’t invite the deceased. Her body was in the casket, but Emily the person wasn’t there.

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The Sun Bakes Them

The sun bakes them,
The hand breaks them,
The foot treads them,
The mouth tastes them.

Grapes. Grapes are grown in the sun, can be hand picked and crushed by feet (which is sort of gross) to make wine, which is tasted by your mouth when you drink it.

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A Cloth Poorly Dyed

A cloth poorly dyed
And an early morning sky
How are they the same?

Their color both change easily.

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A Mouth On My Head And Eat Everything

I have a mouth on my head and eat everything.

What am I?

A backpack.

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A Big Family Photo

A family photo has the following:
1 grandfather, 1 grandmother
2 fathers, 2 mothers
6 children, 4 grandchildren
2 brothers, 2 sisters
3 sons, 3 daughters
1 father-in-law, 1 mother-in-law
1 daughter-in-law

It could show 29 different people, but what is the smallest number of people if could have?

Eight. 4 children, their mother and father and one set of grandparents.

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A Real Life Emergency

Mary was out riding a frisky pony in a meadow by the sea when the bridle came loose. The animal shook it off and started to gallop full speed toward the ocean, paying no attention to Mary’s yelling to slow down. She couldn’t bear to jump off and lose her beloved pony, so she stayed on and hoped for the best. When the cliff loomed ahead of her, she knew she had to stop the pony. How did she do it?

Mary clapped her hands tightly over the animal’s eyes, causing it to stop.

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The Most Impressive Boundary

The most impressive boundary’s not a wall.
It’s not a manufactured thing at all.
Moving towards it won’t reduce the gap
and nothing marks its presence on a map.

The horizon.

By Sef Daystrom

Posted in Riddles