I Prevent Escape

I prevent escape or intrusion,
Yet I also preserve and protect,

Thieves use me to get money,
From me they can often collect.

I’m the practice of a sport, but not on the lawn,
Your friends may get upset when I’m sat upon.

What am I?

Fence. Fences keep ne’er-do-wells out and protect people inside. A fence is a person who buys stolen goods to later resell them for a profit. Those who fence practice the sport of fencing. En garde! And people don’t like it when you sit on the fence in a heated debate. (Believe me, I speak from experience)

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Turd Station

At Coney Island (the amusement park in Ohio) over Memorial Day weekend I saw a changing station in the men’s bathroom. A clever fellow had scraped off some letters to make the changing station read, “Turd Station”. What was the original name of the changing station?

sTURDy Station2, by Rubbermaid.

Here’s a picture of one without the letters scratched out.

rubbermaid-changing-station

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To Frighten a Thief

What four letters frighten a thief?

OICU (Oh I see you!)

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The More There Is The Less You See

The more there is the less you see. What is it?

Darkness

Darkness.  There more darkness there is, the less you can see.

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Kneel In The Kayak

Kneel in the kayak grasping the boat, but don’t wrench the bullion or scowl at the chart. Behind the taped and sealed planter is a benevolent collier. The foxglove is in the bath.

Name the 19 creatures in the above sentence.

1. Eel
2. Yak
3. Asp
4. Boa
5. Wren
6. Bull
7. Lion
8. Cow
9. Owl
10. Hart
11. Hind
12. Ape
13. Seal
14. Ant
15. Vole
16. Collie
17. Fox
18. Ox
19. Bat

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That That Is Is

Add punctuation to these words to make a grammatically correct series of phrases.

That that is is that that is not is not is not that it it is

That that is, is; that that is not, is not. Is not that it? It is.

There are almost assuredly other grammatically correct variations. Feel free to add ones you can think of in the comments.

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When I Point Up It’s Bright

When I point up, it’s bright.
When I point down, it’s dark.

What am I?

A light switch

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Letter Missing From a Series

What letter is missing from this series?
B C D G P T V Z

The letter E. The series contains all of the letters that rhyme with bee (apologies to any English speakers who pronounce Z as zed instead of zee if this confused you).

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It Is Hate

It is hate and has hate in it, but it isn’t hate.

Hatred.

By Sef Daystrom

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What Do These Dates Have In Common?

What do these dates have in common?

15 February 1984
2 July 1983
16 December 1983

They all fall in the middle.
15 February was the middle of February (1984 being a leap year).
2 July was the middle day of the year 1983.
And 16 December was the middle of December.

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