I torture children and parents
Many people scream and wail in my presence
Parents drag their kids to me
I am supposed to create smiles,
But often there is only a frown.
The Pope has it but he does not use it. Your father has it but your mother uses it. Nuns do not need it. Arnold Schwarzenneger has a big one, Michael J. Fox’s is quite small. What is it?
When the day before yesterday was referred to as the day after tomorrow, the day that was then called yesterday was as far away from the day we now call tomorrow as yesterday is from the day which we shall now be able to speak of last Monday as a week ago yesterday. What day is it?
A slight inclination of the cranium is as adequate as a spasmodic movement of one optic to an equine quadruped utterly devoid of any visionary capacity.
Translate this rather strange sentence into one that is more sensible.
Marla needs snacks for the students on her field trip. She bought 9 boxes of granola bars containing a total of 88 bars. She wanted variety, so she bought 3 different flavors, which happened to come from 3 different companies.
The Coconut Almond bars were packaged 8 to a box.
The Chewy Chocolate Chip bars came 10 to a box.
The Oats ‘n Honey package contained 12 per box.
She bought the most boxes of Coconut Almond but had the most Oats ‘n Honey bars.
Noreen doesn’t have a driver’s license and goes the wrong way on a one-way street, then turns left at a corner with a “No left turns” sign. A policeman sees her but does nothing. Why?
You want to go on an adventure to the remote city of Chenarz, but it’s 120 miles off the Pacific coast. To conserve money, take the smallest number of people as possible. Each person can carry enough food for five days but you can only travel 30 miles a day. You want to reach Chenarz, stay overnight, and return the next day. How many people, including yourself, must you take to reach the city?
You will need three other members in your party to accomplish your mission for a total of four people.
Four people × 5 day’s rations = 20 day’s rations.
Day 1: 5 rations – Four day’s rations are used. One person goes back using one day’s ration for the return trip.
Day 2: 5 rations – Remaining three members use three day’s rations. One goes back using two day’s rations for the return trip.
Day 3: 5 rations – Remaining two use two day’s rations. One goes back using three day’s rations for the return trip.
Day 4: 1 ration – You use one day’s rations. You reach the city and stay the night.
Day 5: 4 rations – You return to the coast using up four day’s rations.