I Can Kill People

I can kill people, or cause great pain.
You eat me.
I can mean you’re crazy.
I hold things together.
I help climbers stay safe.
I can replace a swear.
And I’m on a violin.

What am I?

Nuts.

People with nut allergies can die from eating nuts. Being hit in the nuts hurts (I speak from experience. Painful, painful experience). You eat nuts (unless you’re allergic, in which case you should run away). If someone says you’re nuts, it doesn’t mean you’re a peanut or an almond. Nuts and bolts hold things together. A climber’s nut or chock wedges into a rock. Instead of swearing, you can say, “Aww nuts!”. And finally, the nut on a violin is a small piece of hard material that supports the strings.

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Ted and The Vicious Dog

Ted was lost while driving around the country and saw a house. He parked under a nearby tree and started toward the house. As soon as he got out of his car a huge dog lunged at him from the opposite side of the tree. Fortunately the dog was chained and Ted managed to stay out of reach. Finding no one home at the house, Ted returned to his car, but as he approached the dog lunged at him again. The chain was so long the snarling animal could reach both car doors. How did Ted escape the dog and get back into his car?

Ted moved slowly around the tree keeping just out of the dog’s reach. The animal followed, winding its chain around the tree until it was too short to reach Ted’s car

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Dumbstruck Beekeeper

Which word does not belong?

beekeeper, dumbbell, dumbstruck, untruthful

Dumbbell. All of the other words have only one of the vowels (a, e, i, o, u).

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Fewest Queens For Full Attack

What is the smallest number of queens required on a chess board to attack all squares?

5. To see where they need to be placed, check out the diagram on Wolfram’s Queens Problem page.

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Going the Wrong Way on a One-Way Street

Noreen doesn’t have a driver’s license and goes the wrong way on a one-way street, then turns left at a corner with a “No left turns” sign. A policeman sees her but does nothing. Why?

She was walking.

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Which Do You Light First?

You have a single match and are in a pitch black room with a candle, an oil lamp and a gas stove. Which do you light first?

The match.

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A City in the Twilight

Half-way up the hill, I see thee at last, lying beneath me with thy sounds and sights — A city in the twilight, dim and vast, with smoking roofs, soft bells, and gleaming lights.

The Past (Longfellow).

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Hangs Others

What hangs others yet can unintentionally hang itself?

A jury.

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I Look Like a Pearl

I look like a pearl,
Clouds are my ancestors,
I am very delicate,
I die when I’m touched.

What am I?

Dew.

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What Runs Around the Yard

What runs around the yard without moving?

A fence.

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